i'll be leaving the rest to you



chained..

discreetly falling for you

limited by the truth.. i cannot pursue

wish i have courage, enough to love you.


deviant indeed for i love some one else.

and you also have some one in your life... what else?..

and this feeling inside me.. it lingers, it dwells

though we hide the truth, it will pain, it will swell.

half-hearted..

for the things i cannot understand

half-hearted if im to give both of my hands

or to be fooled and be building castle in the sand


the first and the last

will i see you again after that night?

when time stood between us and you were like a jewel to my sight?

and how i wish im a single bird in flight.

so i can be with you there..where the clouds so white


do i have to break it?..

do i have to?


i love him..

im learning to love you

is that possible?

or im just drunk..

slaved of the spirit and i let my self sank.


so i be leaving the rest to you...

kabaklaan para sa iba? ("Using Gay as an Insult" from maruja of rainbow bloggers)



LAST December 2008, nakasakay aku sa lrt aT MAY ISANG MATANDANG LALAKI NA PILIT PUMASOK SA TREN KHIT PASARA NA YUNG PINTUAN AT HALOS MAIPIT NA SIYA NON.. successfully he catched that ride with me inside...
sabi nya, "PAG GANYAN HINDI PWEDENG BABAKLA-BAKLA KA", pagkatapos SIYANG bigyan ng mapanuring tingin nung iba pang mga tao doon sa loob.
nag pantig ang tenga kO from what i heard. ( naku kung mabasa ng mga kaybigan ko toh sasabihin nila paulit ulit aku). but my point is like this,
"KABAKLAAN MU BA ITUTURING ANG PAG SUNOD SA SIMPLENG PANUNTUNAN NG LRT? "
"BAKIT KAILANGAN IAKIBAT ANG KABAKLAAN SA ISANG BAGAY NA DAPAT BILANG TAO AY ALAM NATIN AY HINDI TAMA?"
ANG AKIN LANG...
-KUNG ANG LAHAT NG HETEROSEXUAL NA PILIPINO AY MAY GANOONG PAG IISIP.. MAS MABUBUTING MAMAMAYAN PA KAMING MGA BAKLANG PILIPINO KUNG TUTUUSIN DAHIL KAMI ANG SUMUSUNOD SA MGA SIMPLENG PATAKAAN NG MGA LUGAR NA PINUPUNTAHAN NAMIN.
-KUNG MAGKAGANOON, LAHAT TAYONG MGA BAKLA AY MAS MAY PINAG KATANDAAN MULA SA ELMENTARY AT G.M.R.C. HAHAHA

ANG AKIN LANG..
HINDI NAMAN PARA SA AMIN ANG KAHINHINASN O ANG PAG SUNOD SA PATAKARAN. PARA SA LAHAT TO NG PILIPINO. PARA SA IKAUUNLAD NATIN AT NANG PILIPINAS..

SA BANDANG HULI
ANG AKIN LANG PO..

AY MAKITA NUNG LALAKI NA YON ANG PAGKAKAIBA SALITANG "URBANIDAD" SA KABAKLAAN..

HINDI MAN NYA TAYO MATANGGAP BILANG MGA BAKLA. MAGKARON MAN LANG SANA SIYA NG KATALINUHAN AT MORAL SA PAG SAKAY NIYA SA LRT AT KUNG SAN PANG MGA LUGAR NA PINUPUNTAHAN NYA..

ANG AKIN LANG PO..

TAMANG ASAL LANG PO YON KUYA. HINDI KABAKLAAN..

code: S.D.B. (Poem)


asan kana?
di kita maramdaman
asan na ang presensya mong dating
tahanan ng aking kaligayahan
tahanan ng aking pagka bigo
tampulan ng luha ko't dugo
mula ng aking tuwa at galak
asan na dahilan ng pag tibok ng putang inang puso ko
asan ka nang minamahal ko

di kita matagpuan
kahit pa ang dating paraan upang makausap kita'y
wala na..
di ko na matagpuan ang landas ko patungo sayo
nangangamba din akong di mo na alam ang landas
pabalik sa puso ko..
pabalik sa bisig kong dati kong iniakap sayo
at nakalimutan mo na salat ng mga palad kong ito
noong dinadamayan ka sa kalungkutan mo
at ang labi ko....
hanggang ngayo'y ramdam pa rin ang tamis
ng mapag parusang labi mo

sariwa pa mga ala-ala mo
lulan ng pag asang mahal mo pa rin ako
ngunit asan ka na
asan na ang pagkataong dahilan ng buhay ko

mananatili na lang ba kitang pangarap
na kahit sa totoong buhay di na kita mahagilap

dont go (poem)



If tears can heal,then I must be cured by now.
But im not.
For several hours im crying,but still, im bleeding and paining
Of what I cant understand.
Leaving me wouldn’t be a big help.
Well infact, it’s the thing that will kill me slowly.
I love you and you love me the same way I did.
But is these our price of loving each other?
The cruelness I have here is the sudden feeling I felt the moment you stepped back of our circle..
I just want you near.
I just want you to feel.
I just….
Love you.
For crying out loud..
Hold on..
Nothing changed my love.
In the end I want it to be.
Me loving you
And you loving me..
Deviant.. Yes we are.
Of our suddeness..
But this is not that weak for us to fall out of it..
Don’t leave…
Or I’ll die..
Coz I cant continue anymore without you beside me.
You became my world..
My life..
Don’t go..

silence (poem)


silence!
for i am not heard..
listen!
coz i will not be repeating dis words again!
im digging up my own grave
i'll be wading down my coffin from where it is place in my room before.
filled with your memories.
there we were happy.
and there when im in pain
there we were grieving
and there im with you. cuddling you on your down moments..
i'll be bringing it all.
so i will not be remembered
i will not be leaving any mark that once there was me in your heart.
or i should say a instance that an ordinary me passed to your life..
i'll be happy lying & will be waiting for my time..
in this cold coffin that will never be warm.
embraced by this loam you're stepping onto.
in here i am protected..
by my savage.. you as my killer
for i cannot stop loving you
uncany indeed, but i cannot help this heart not to beat for one reason
not to beat for one person
to beat only for you..
in this grave im digging up for my self,
i would not be hurt by this pandemonium i made
yes... i made coz i dont want to blame you..
i indulge my myself to your decisive words..

to dance with you (poem)

it is enough that you fooled me once
and im not happy to be with you in one more dance
i hate your presence and i hate your smell
i hate your love and i hate my self for i fell

you cannot fool me anymore,
you cannot catch me off shield with your loving horror
you cannot fool me with your sweet text messages
coz i am tired of lies and of your flashing images

i like what i have right now
though i miss a sex with you when we have our vows
i like what im experiencing right now
to explore and to feel things that you have not given me any how.

you will be burried and forgotten in my past
but im not bitter coz I’ve loved you once
see you on the day that will pass
but be ready coz im with someone to dance!

me you and she (poem)


“Me, You and She!”
(by Giselle Jean Baclit)

I am not suppose
To feel this way
But it’s inevitable
I’m really trying not to think of you
Hoping this feeling
Might soon be thru
I know I’m not in love
I’m quite sure
But my feelings for you
Starts to fall
Whenever you hold me tightly
But….
S..H..I..T..
This is I know for sure
I should be feeling
“JEALOUS”
Co’z you’re with her
She’s with you
And what should I do?
Stare at you two?
Tears running down my cheeks
Telling my goddamn self…
“He could have been mine!”
I’m such a mess
For loving you
You, loving her
And she loving you
Me HURTING
Me BLEEDING and left me…
Just CRYING!!!

taken (poem)


“TAKEN”

Taken,
You are taken
And though from sleep I am awakened
Still, in mind you stayed and spokened

When I close my eyes
I can see your face
And from then, your cherry-like lips
I’ve kissed and I’ve taste

Your expressive eyes
That you used to stare at me
And your small built arms
That you use to embrace my body

But from the moment I opened my eyes
My illusions will disappear and will melt like ice
From the fact that you’re taken, I should now realize
I can’t be with you forever co’z you’re somebody else’s prize

my immortal (poem)


MY IMMORTAL

Do I have to live now that you’ve spilled?
All of the truth that could be the reason for me to be sealed
In the grave of loneliness that you’ve build
For me and for my love that you’ve never filled

Do I have to live now that you’ve turned?
This world of mine that used to be burned
I painted it all with good inspiration
But it all turned black when you spilled your conclusions

Do I have to live in this world of pain?
Do I have to live and continue for being insane?
Do I have to live and take all the sorrow and pains?
And fell it hurts in every bit of my veins

Immortality is not a gift for me
Immortality is to suffer all of this misery
Immortality is a wish of a person who is deeply insane
Immortality is not for me cause I’m tired to feel the pain.

fooled (poem)

FOOLED

Fooled, deceived
Love that I have not received
Lies and explanations
And I’ am now used to believe

Gifts and letters
That you used to give
But these things are not enough
For me to live

Your love so divine
That I wish to be mine
But now it declines
As if I’m loaded with fines

You lied to be safe
And for my anger to fade
But instead you wake it
And your lies make it rage

katotohanan (poem)

Marahil biro nga...
katotohan?
di ko na alam...
Bawat hinga mo'y tila isang saliw
nang musikang dapat kong sayawan..
Ayaw mo man...
Masakit man...
Ngunit mapaindak, di ko maiwasan...
Para akong dibaterya...
pero...
Ano ba alam mong habol ku seu?
di maiwasang itanong kasi alam ku
naman ang totoo...
Dba?
Tala kang minamasdan ko.
Pero wala akong makitang liwanag..
Bulag naba ko?
KATOTOHANAN...
tatlong araw akong umiiyak...
di ko alam ang dahilan..
sawa na din sa buhay sa loob ng aninong iyong tinatapakan...
Hindi naliliman...
Masakit ang KATOTOHANAN...
Gusto ko???
MAWALA NA LANG...
Parang bula.
Ikaw, mahal KITA.
Ikaw, mahal mu SIYA..
Siya? Mahal KA nya..
Lugi ako sa katotohanang alam ko...
ndi na ako umaasa...
Sawa sa pag-niniwalang mayroong pag-asa
sa kinabukasan.
Isang asong gubat na lumalamon sa natitirang laman kong
dungis ng pagkakataon.
Dungis ng katotohanang pilit mong
ipinayayakap sa akin at pina aampon.
Madaya ang katotohanang alam ko...
dahil hanggang ngayon...
Ang katotohanang yaon ang naglulugmok sa
pag katao kong pinatay ko na...…
MATAGAL NANG PANAHON.